Major life transitions can change how someone thinks and functions.
When I returned to work after becoming a parent, I expected the main shifts to be practical. Routines. Backup plans. Priorities. Sleep.
What surprised me was cognitive. Attention. Sensory load. The cost of interruption. The amount of context I could hold at once.
Many parents returning after a new arrival, whether through birth, adoption, surrogacy, or fostering, describe similar shifts. Responsibilities change. Sleep changes. The mental load increases.
This sits inside a wider truth. Humans are not static. Significant life changes can shift attention, energy, memory, and tolerance for noise and interruption, even when the change is positive.
It is not just parenthood. For example: a promotion, a new role, or stepping into leadership; starting a new job, returning after redundancy, or a career break; relocating home or country, or settling into a new culture or language; caring responsibilities changing, for children, partners, or parents; health shifts, diagnosis, recovery, medication changes, perimenopause, or menopause; grief, bereavement, or major family change.
These are often the moments when neurodivergence becomes more visible. Not because it has suddenly appeared, but because capacity has shifted.
A question I often ask friends and colleagues: Think about a time your life changed, in a good way, a hard way, or both. What support would you ask for, if you knew it would be met with respect?
For those who like the research: an Amsterdam UMC study published in Nature Communications tracked women across first and second pregnancies and found measurable changes in brain structure and network organisation, with a second pregnancy showing both similar changes and distinct differences again.